The Talk
by Micisuewho
Summary: DISCLAIMER: This is written based on an anonymous prompt from a tumblr user. The writing is original, but the idea was not originally mine. Barry and Iris cuddle/wrestle. It gets charged. Joe walks in on them.


They'd been this way all evening. Arms tangled around each other, both eyes locked on the other as if there isn't another soul in the world besides the two of them. It's quiet. Joe had to work late. The room is much colder than it should be, but warmth doesn't seem to be an issue. Of course, they have each other.

"Barry?" says Iris, exaggerating the 'a'.

"Yes?" says Barry, exaggerating the 'e'.

"I need to do something.." Barry raises an eyebrow.

"What do you need to do?" Iris hesitates for a moment, letting the anticipation boil up and causing Barry's palms to sweat. She narrows her eyes, but only for a moment because as soon as the moment ends, she lightly pokes him in his side. He flinches. She smirks.

"Don't… You… Dare." Barry holds both of Iris arms in his hands, preparing to hold her back. She wrinkles her nose, preparing to attack. She jumps, teasing Barry and causing him to flinch again. "Iris.. Don—" but before he can finish pleading with her, her hands are on either side of his ribcage, moving like spiders up and down his waist. Barry squirms and laughs and yells things like "Stop!" and "Laughing is a fear response!" and "I'm not actually enjoying this!". Iris shifts so that her body is flat on top of his, continuing to move her hands up and down and laughing along with a reluctant Barry. She fights his pushing and leans down to kiss every inch of his face and neck while her hands continue to move along his stomach and chest. She doesn't realize the heat beginning to rise in Barry's face. She doesn't notice him moving his hands along her back instead of resisting her.

Immediately he reaches up to grab the back of her neck and pull her mouth to his. She's surprised, at first, but his lips taste like honey and there's nothing she can do to stop herself from sinking into him. Her hands flatten against his waist and she pushes herself up to kiss him harder, sliding her body back and forth on top of him without meaning to, causing his heart to beat ten times faster. He rolls over on top of her and kisses down her neck. His hand slides underneath her shirt, touching bare skin and moving up her body.

The front door clicks open.

"Whoa!" Barry and Iris jump apart. Joe saw how they were positioned and covered his eyes.

"Dad! I thought you were working late!" yells Iris. Joe uncovers his eyes and then stares for a moment or so longer, eyes wide and pale as a cloud.

"Plans changed.." he says slowly. Iris looks at Barry. The room is silent for a couple of seconds and then Joe lumbers further into the room, patting his legs with his palms and pursing his lips. He sits on the couch and leans forward, folding his hands in front of him. "Listen." he says softly. Barry and Iris exchange a look of confusion. Barry's head is spinning like a ceiling fan, and Iris' shoulders have nearly become stuck to either side of her chin. "You're reaching a point in your relationship where you're more…. More comfortable with each other romantically." Barry pulls his head back and frowns, furrowing his eyebrows. "Sexually." Iris' shoulders reach impossible heights. Barry and Iris are both completely appalled, not even daring to look Joe in the eyes.

Iris closes her eyes and swallows. "Dad. No."

"Are we seriously getting 'the talk' right now?"

"Now.. Hear me out, you two." says Joe, putting his hands up to reassure them. "I just think you should know to be safe—"

"Dad! No!" Iris yells. "Daddy, we're adults! We can handle ourselves!"

"Probably not the best time to call him 'Daddy'." Barry remarks. Iris ignores him.

"Don't you dare say anything else, okay? Just.. just shut up, and go. I love you, but no no no no no." Iris is waving her hands in front of her like she's warding off bees. Joe rolls his eyes and rises to his feet.

"Alright alright. I'll shut up." He starts to leave, but before he makes the first step, he turns around and looks Barry directly in the eyes, staring at him so intensely, Barry is almost certain he might bleed. "One thing. Son, I love you, but if I become a grandfather before you've sealed the deal with a ring, I'll be tying you up in knots, understand?" Barry looks side to side, forms his mouth in a straight line and nods, slightly. "Good." Joe finishes.


End file.
